My first day off. Take Two.

Posted at February 12th, 2009 by cosmo

Officially. Off. No pending work from either business. No longer answering the phone. No longer answering email. Last week I switched from the lovonox to the heparin, the first step towards getting ready for birth. Today – 37 weeks, is the beginning of the window for delivery. Starting about two days ago, my dog suddenly because very snugly and affectionate. Does he know something I don’t?

Friends keep saying that we must be so excited. If that is your wasp-waisted, sushi eating, cocktail drinking word for TERRIFIED? Then yes. Definitely.

Oh, but you’ve done it before. Um, yeah, 20 years ago. When I was a teenager. When I had no life. No set expectations. When I didn’t have a career (x2) I’m putting on hold. When I didn’t have (unfortunately) that much invested in my relationship. When I hadn’t spent 40 years building a life.

Sure. I know how to change a diaper. I sorta remember how to breastfeed. But I think the knowledge pretty much ends there. I have no idea what to expect. I’m terrified of labor. I’m worried about what will happen to my relationship with my husband. I’m worried about never seeing friends again. I’m worried about what will happen to my business while I’m away. I’m worried about money. I’m worried I’ll never see my feet again or fit in my stilettos and corsets. I’m worried I’ll never again know about popular culture!

And? Then there is the worry about the whole moving out of the big city and moving to the suburbs. Will I survive? And damn my friends for taking me to see Revolutionary Road!

Fingernails a-tapping. Channels a-flipping. Snacks a-snacking. I guess it’s time to actually be serious about that whole knitting project. I don’t know what I will do with myself for the next three weeks. But I’m also terrified that he will arrive early.

Tappity tap tap. Snackity snack snack. Look for more blog posts soon. Flip Flip Flip through the channels… Yawn.

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