The object of Dash’s sadistic and relentless affections

Posted at February 17th, 2010 by cosmo

Seriously. This is bordering on inhumane.

Last year when we bought the house, we had all the tile floors tore up and replaced with cork. Cork is beautiful and one of the greenest floorings available (yay!). Unfortunately, it doesn’t hide the dust like a carpet, nor the constant stream of cheerios that ONE OF US seems to emit, so, when Costco had Roombas on sale, I bought one. I realize it wasn’t going to do a great job but I figured it would certainly help. Right? RIGHT?!

The plan: Every day after the morning nap I would load up the baby, grab the dog and head off for a hike at the local park hitting the clean button on the way out the door. I would be in shape. The baby weight would just FALL off, and the house would be clean.

The Reality?? After months of forgetting to turn it on when occasionally there WAS a morning nap and I had the energy to grab the dog and slog up the hill, I remember to use it twice. Then? Holy Shit. Dash figures out how to turn Roomba on. I hide Roomba’s charging station under couch. Dash crawls under couch to get to Roomba. Spends entire days chasing Roomba and picking Roomba up

[Error. Please pick up roomba and move to new location.]

[Error. Please pick up roomba and move to new location.]

[Error. Please pick up roomba and move to new location.]

Bouncing on top of Roomba.

[Error. Please clean brushes]

[Error. Please clean brushes]

[Error. Please clean brushes]

Pushing Roomba at top speeds. In the opposite direction.

[Error!]

[Error!]

[Error!]

And now that the poor thing’s battery is drained, he has it cornered and is repeatedly pushing the ON button.

click

[Please charge Roomba!]

click [Please!]

click [Please!]

click [Please!]

click [Please!]

click [Please!]

I keep thinking that he will lose interest in the poor Roomba, but instead he has not let it out of his site all day, aside from a frightfully short nap. The only one that is pleased with this situation, aside from Dash of course, is the dog. Ringo is thrilled to no longer be the object of Dash’s sadistic and relentless affections.

Now I’m just trying to figure out if I should take advantage of CostCo’s liberal return policy and take it back, or keep it for the babysitting.

Leave a Reply